A Little and A Lot

Happy Mother's Day 2011

The gifts just keep coming. This morning the sun is shining, and the birds are singing my name. I have flowers to plant, leaves to rake and weeds to pull. The temperatures are finally warming up and it feels like Spring!!

The family celebrated Mother's Day last night with a gathering at the Brown Bottle in North Liberty. We honored three mothers - all fabulous, amazing mothers. Well, at least two of them can learn from my mistakes. :) Last night I looked at each one of my five and thought of memories of their childhood, and the challenges/rewards of being their mother. I think about how they are doing with their lives, where they may need a little more guidance, and have wandering thoughts on what they will need from their mother this next year.

I admit it...I am not a traditional mother. I have made a few cookies/brownies over the years for those class celebrations, wrapped up a child or two in toilet paper for Halloween celebrations and attended a class dance with a nervous eye. But, my children's grandmothers have been there for ALL those times that my brain or body was elsewhere working on something I am sure of a creative nature. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! for some more amazing women and a special grandfather!!! I often wonder if I could go back and do it over and be a different kind of mom, would the kids and turned out better, be happier, less "damaged." I just did ok...being a mom...no awards would be given...and even then...I had a lot of help. There were so many times
I didn't know what to do, didn't have the right answer, gave the wrong answer and was too tired to even give an answer. So last night while looking at each ones face, I thought, hmmm... I am 50 something...in the unknown years that I have left...what more do I need to give to you. AND of course I have a LIST for each one!!!!

As we shared cards, gifts and always....laughter with some "interesting conversation" I noticed my oldest son standing up holding his son...my grandson. He had his cheek snugly next to Grady's cheek and his arms, wrapped so tightly pulling Grady right into his chest. Well, I know this look!! I have picture after picture of me holding my son the SAME way. I felt I was hugging Tyler so tight that I was pulling him right into my heart. I glanced over to my daughter and saw a daydreaming stare, while she rubbed her growing belly...baby Elle due in August. I know that look too! Kyle sat next to me and looked at me in that way I can never describe..right into your eyes, with love..and said Happy Mother's Day...and he doesn't have to say anything else...
Anna, was anxiously waiting to get the heck out of there and be with her girlfriends, and I knew that was not reflection of her love for her mom....we won't even go there..cuz she has a universe of love for me and I know that too.....even with all of these scenes flashing before me...I still wonder...if I did enough, was good enough and wonder what they will really remember about me. Then I opened my card, and Grant wrote..."Thanks for always being there." And I now think...for each one of them...that is what they will remember.